Monday, July 25, 2005

Whing Wrestling Post...

Muhammend Hassan
I just had to post to say that I'm disappointed with World Wrestling Entertainment. Last night, they probably 'killed off' a great character of supposed Arab-American genetics all because, after trading him, Muhammed Hassan(whom my girlfriend thinks is the hottest man ever), off to their "B-Class" show, SmackDown!, the network the show is on decided they would not allow his character back on the air after an event that aired on 7/7/05 depicted him dropping to his knees in apparent prayer and having masked men rush out behind him to beat down his opponent in the ring, The Undertaker after the Undertaker beat up Hassan's manager, Divari whom Hassan pushed into The Undertaker. So after they all beat up on him and all, the masked men raised Davari into a laying position and carried him out high in the air apparently as a martyr.
7/7/05 was also the date of the first attacks on London but the WWE show was taped three days before and WWE didn't have time to edit out all of the events and all mentions of it throughout the taping so they aired it as it was but overlayed a large warning to sensitive viewers before the events in question took place.
So anyway, he's been off of TV since then because of UPN's 'demands'. Instead of just transfering him back to the show that made him a top heel in the company in the eyes of many, they have apparently decided to shelf his angle and many speculate that he will be sent to WWE's developmental division, OVW.
Of course, nothing is known with certainty as of now. He could be transfered back to Raw after some time. Or maybe he will take on another persona of a 'reformed anti-American'... I don't know. It is more likely, however, he will be sent to OVW to work on a new character to be on SmackDown! sometime in the coming months or even years.Divari""

Now I'm sure none of you give a damn about this, but it kind of gets to me. I like the rebelious Vince McMahon of old that didn't care who he'd offend, knowing that it'd bring in the fans, harden the base, and stuff his pockets just a little more. But it seems that he's going through the cycle again. In the 80's and early 90's he did the same sort of PC crap, then in the mid 90's he "Tore open the creative envelope" and got raw and edgy. People tuned in. People bought what he was sellin'. Then he bought out his competetors and now he and his company are content to chill in the 'safe zone', creating a low calibre product that is worse now than their worse competitors from years past.

So why was he 'killed off'? To prevent people from being angry with the company... Tails are tucked between legs and Vince's legendary 'grapefruits' are mere raisins in the hands of sponsers.

So how did they do away with the character? He was powerbombed through the stage and shown laying below after 'suffering' from nothing more than a reportedly horrible match that WWE had set up for him, bleeding badly and was soon transported to the hospital. Even his page on says for his recent news that he was hurt badly by The Undertaker.

So now that I've bored you all to death, I'll just sum things up quickly. An Arab-American character was exploiting the terrorist label most Americans placed upon them all after 9/11 and because a few people got offended, a company that was once rebellious crumpled and removed a successful character and a great wrestler and entertainer to keep from making a few people uncomfortable...

Fuckin' Jesus, man. The world is going to hell.

-=The Prynce

Sunday, July 24, 2005

PM Dawn - Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

PM Dawn - Set Adrift On Memory Bliss

The camera pans the cocktail glass,
Behind a blind of plastic plants;
I found the lady with the fat diamond ring.
Then you know I can’t remember a damn thing.
I think it’s one of those de ja vu things,
Or a dream that’s tryin’ to tell me something.
Or will I ever stop thinkin’ about it.
I don’t know, I doubt it.
Subterranean by design,
I wonder what I would find if I met you,
Let my eyes caress you,
Until I meet the thought of missess princess who?
Often wonder what makes her work.
I guess I’ll leave that question to the experts,
Assuming that there are some out there.
They’re probably alone, solitaire.
I can remember when I caught up
With a pastime intimate friend.
She said, bet you’re probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don’t think nothin’ of me.
She was right, though, I can’t lie.
She’s just one of those corners in my mind,
And I just put her right back with the rest.
That’s the way it goes, I guess.

Baby you send me
Set adrift on memory bliss of you

Careless whisper from a careless man,
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that she’s not dreaming.
She’s got an ace in the hole,
It doesn’t have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
’cause complete control, I don’t take too kind.
Christina applegate, you gotta put me on.
Guess who’s piece of the cake is jack gone?
She broke her wishbone and wished for a sign.
I told her whispers in my heart were fine.
What did she think she could do?
I feel for her, I really do.
And I stared at the ring finger on her hand,
I wanted her to be a big pm dawn fan,
But I had to put her right back with the rest.
That’s the way it goes, I guess.

Baby you send me...
Set adrift on memory bliss of you

Friday, July 22, 2005

Won't Come Back From Dead-Man's Curve

So I was tagged for a chain-post type thing today. To show how pathetic my life is, it excited me. lol.

Anyway, here it is.

1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?

Sports-Entertainer AKA Wrestler. Maybe a musician 'cause I love music but I can't sing and haven't played drums in AGES. I like to act but I'm not too good. So either wrestler or film-maker. I love making films.

2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?

Willie Nelson. I don't fucking know. I put little thought into it, even. lol. He seems like a cool guy... Plus he's rich and a pot-head. Though I don't know why he'd be around a professional wrestler or a ghetto (one step below indie) film maker.

And Kevin Smith, Paul Heyman, Larry King (is that strange?), Bill Clinton, Maynard James Keenan, etc.

3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?

Tom Cruise unless it was to bitch-slap him. And Avril Lavigne. Is that how you spell her name? I kinda hope not. She's hot and all but her music is shit and she's phony.

And George W. Bush. Fuck that guy.

4. Which celebrities would you date?

That chick from Napolean Dynamite. Her name's
Tina Majorina and... Fuck yes, people...

But I sincerly think I'd stray from other celebrities. I've never even really dug anyone even remotely rich. Plus it'd be more secret if it were some unknown ass, lol.

5. What would be your “Celebrity Cause”?

The lack of logic in the world. Or at least in the South. I can only assume its nearly so bad elsewhere.

6. Since celebs always get off, what crime(’s) would you commit?

I don't have urges to do much illegal shit, actually. Maybe I'd just bitch-slap some other famous people for being themselves.

...Or maybe I'd make another Child's Play sequel. Anything after the first three (which were nothing astounding in themselves) were crimes/sins. Seriously, though. Those movies piss me off.

7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?

"Shat Into Hell" or "Who the Fuck's That Behind You?"

8. Tag 3 people to do this poll. (I don't usually do this part...but)

That Reads
My Blog

(None of my friends blog. I live in the South...)

9. Link to the post that tagged you.


So that's basically 'Part One' of my post and... lemme tell ya... It's only down-hill from there.

My day was stupid and boring. Nothing of any significance went down except my mom finally saying that if I really wanted to go to college she'd find a way. She'd told me in the past I'd have to put myself through college. Which isn't too shocking but the fact that they put my sister through (nearly 4 years now) was pretty fucked up to me.

Apart from that, I watched some TV.
I got up late... It was after 2. Nothing exciting... sorry. I did, however, needlessly water my sunflowers which are wilted and DEAD.

Shannon and Rian are staying at my house tonight. It was almost by force. I don't really like when people stay over very much anymore because I never have any time to myself to be alone. Until I got with Shannon, I wasn't really that way but I guess things went too fast and started off too heavy and we never spent any time apart at first so it made me sort of jaded.
Rian, though, is cool. I mean, he's only slept since he's been here which is how it always is so her saying she stays over so I can spend time with him is clearly bull. I love my son and want to spend every bit of time with him that I can but I don't want someone using the prospect of me getting to hang out with him (he's only 8 months so it's not really what most people would call hanging out but... fuck off.) to be able to be up my ass.

So in short, I LIKE TO BREATHE!

I'm sure that'll piss her off... I wasn't trying to but this IS my blog, after all. And I'm a big fan of honesty.

But I digress...

I just watched a pretty cool old horror movie from 1962 called "Carnival of Souls". I've only seen it once before, though it's on a set of 3 DVDs with 2 movies on each that I got a year or so ago for like $5 that includes the original "Night of the Living Dead" and other absolute classics.
But it's a great film and very creepy. If you like old horror movies such as the afore mentioned "Night of the Living Dead", you should try it. I've heard it's avalible for $1 in some stores that sell 'Dollar DVDs' and the like.

So that's all I have for now. I'm proud of myself for posting again so soon, lol. Maybe it'll become habitual.

Time will tell.

-=The Prynce

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Haze... Motha Flubba.

So I went to the gym yesterday... I feel bad about it. Normally I'm in Heaven when I go to work out but I was kind of feeling slow-like all day and when I was there I didn't do too much. I mean, I got a pretty good workout and all but it wasn't as great as I'd hoped. I'm nice and sore now which I LOVE! I hadn't worked out in like 3 weeks or something which was miserable for me 'cause as out of shape as I'm sure I look, I love nothing more than working out for hours on end. I used to do it all the time a few years ago but hypersomnia and depression and things kind of made it hard to be motivated.
But it wasn't too much money blown. At the gym I go to, you can drop in for $5 with no membership. Plus Shannon paid for me, lol.

So today was dull. I got up just after noon and started right off on watching "Ghost Stories" then the "Ghost Hunters" marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel. So I spent a large part of the day watching T.A.P.S. doing what I long to be doing again (well, in the Fall anyway) as soon as I can.

But later in the night I watched the premiere of Criss Angel: Mind Freak on A&E. Dude's amazing. David Blaine is unworthy of licking his toe. I mean, Blaine is OK and all but Angel is the best I've ever seen. I mean, this wasn't the first time I've seen him perform but the other things were largely stunts instead of 'tricks' and brotha is the shit.

Then later I got around to watching the season finale of "30 Days"on what is rapidly becoming the top cable network, FX. This episode was kind of weak juxtapposed to the rest of them. It was about a mother binge drinking to get her daughter not to and nothing came out of it. The show's creator, Morgan Spurlock, is brilliant. His film Super-Size Me was one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. That and the GREAT episodes preceding this one made this episode that much more disappointing.

But who cares what the hell I've been watching, eh?

Take a look around my blog... Notice anything... different?
I've done a bit of layout work! I added some things and changed some stuff. My favorite is probably the addition of my webcam to the page itself. If you click on it, you'll go straight to my cam page with automatic refreshing. I'll try to have it up as much as possible but my mind is all slippery so... yeah.
I've also added some other things (most of which are interactive) so click around on some stuff.

Well that's all I got for now. Seriously, though... I'm gonna try to post more often. Maybe if you people would LEAVE SOME COMMENTS I would feel the need to post more. I got one person who commented on my last post and no one else and I know she's not the only one to come to my blog (but be sure to check out her blog. It's great.)! I have a stats counter on here, you fuckers!

I'll post again soon about a funny ass movie I saw last Saturday night on Starz! or something. Just take deep breaths and count backwards...

-=The Prynce

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Mama Pajama Rolled Out of Bed and Went to the Police Station

So I recently posted about how Tom Cruise is a grimey bastard and all and I said I would post again with how exactly my depression and anxiety disorers (which, by his thoughts, doesn't even exist) has negatively effected my life.

The first thing that comes to mind is 8th grade. I had begun to hang out once again with some friends from when i was little. One's name was Aimee and we had been friends since I was incredibly small 'cause she lived down my road and in this part of SC, any children within a mile of each other that aren't family is astounding! The other's name was Sonya and we'd been friends around 1st grade for a bit since she and Aimee were friends back then and all and they both road my bus.
So in around 8th grade, we were hanging out again and I would have done anything for these girls. They were the best. Sonya had no interest in me and that I'm almost certain of. But Aimee is another question. People kept saying she liked me and all but I was too down on myself to even hear it. And even more, I could never ask her about it or make any sort of move towards being with her 'cause my anxiety didn't allow it. I'd freeze up and all and though I wanted nothing more than to be with her (we had more in common than almost any other female and I have ever had), I was too anxious to even ask her if she had any interest in me. So my anxiety forced me to pass that one up. But according to Tom Cruise, it was my fault for not exorcising and loving L. Ron Hubbard.

'Round about the same time (but at the end of that school year), there was another girl named Brandy. I'd been eyeing this girl for a long time at this point because there was something about her I dug. Well one day on a field trip (in Coloumbia, I think. May have been Charleston.), we were on a boat for a scenic trip or something and I was sitting next to the two girls above mentioned (I think I was, anyway) and Brandy was somewhere in the area and to my left and she was like "You're really cute" and ya know what I said? NOTHING! Anxiety kicked in and I froze and just nodded my head at her.
Same girl only sometime later. School was getting out rather soon and I was letting people sign my yearbook at first break and it was almost exclusively girls and I was talking to a friend and when I got it back, I saw a note left by Brandy that said something along the lines of "You don't know me but I think you're cute. Call me sometime" and then it had her phone number and her sister's phone number in case she wasn't at home. I was super thrilled but, of course, I couldn't call. To me, this girl was at least a high 9 and I just couldn't call her. I did attempt to call her one time with my cousin but when someone picked up, I freaked out and hung up.
But again, it must have been a lack of exorcise and a lack of love for L. Ron Hubbard, not anxiety...

Next year I'm still hanging with the same people for the most part and still too anxious to try to advance things with anyone. But then one day at first break, this cute and curly-haird blonde comes up to me and she's like "You want some Cheet-Os?!" and I'm like "No that's ok..." and she does this for the next few weeks or something but it seems she kind of uses that to lead in to talking to me. We talk a bit and one day she hands me a letter. Sometime in all of this, I find out her name is Lindsey and she tells me I look like her ex boyfriend from Maine (which excited me that I could remind her of someone she once dated). But in the letter, she was just talking about normal stuff but she gave me her screenname and her phone number. I'd just got the Internet a few weeks before which was like a sign to me.
So I IM her, we talk, and we become great friends. We talk on the phone all the time but she get mad at me for only saying 'ok' which is something I do when I get anxious. But we talk a lot and I'm falling for this girl insanly hard and fast. I mean, she writes "Love ya!" at least once in every letter and after each IM! But it seems that every so often, she mentions her recent ex boyfriend from Marion named Kemp (it may be been Kent, I don't know) that recently broke up with her. So she brings him up and says she misses him a lot and my heart sinks. But I finally do get the courage to email her and tell her that I really really like her and want her and all and she gives a sort of ambiguous response. She does tell me, though, that if not for Kemp she'd probably be with me.
This girl meant the world to me at that time. She was the most unique person I'd met for a long time. And we dug the same things. Like shortly after my favorite wrestler (Chris Jericho) from the former WCW left for what once was WWF, he'd been in a rivalry with The Rock 'cause his premeire interupted The Rock. So that caused heat between them and all and she and I were on the phone for a little bit one night watching RAW and she was a Rock fan and I was a Jericho fan and we were talking about how one was better than the other and all but she had to go so we hung up. Then like ten minutes later, Rock and Jericho had a run-in or something and she called me back just to cheer on The Rock and diss Jericho then she said she had to go. That was amazing to me.
But over the summer, we hardly spoke 'cause she was never home and I became incredibly depressed b/c I saw for the first time that I LOVED someone for real. Then the next year at school, it continued. She came up to some friends I was with and spoke to them but ignored me. I was CRUSHED. My depression and anxiety hit a new high.

That year, though, I liked a ton of people. It never amounted to anything, they never knew, and I never talked to them, but I liked them.

But the following year, I got together with Ana. I also met my friend Matt that year. Ana and I had a lot in common and dated for a few months but it crashed and burned because we both had anxiety out the ass. We wouldn't talk in person hardly at all. We were both seen as freaks or weirdos anyway so we worked in the eyes of most. Hell, I think we would have had an amazing relationship if we both didn't have anxiety problems. She was (and still is) a very cool and unique person.
But it didn't last, although like I said before, that was the year I met Matt. Matt and I were a lot a like and just having a close friend that I actually felt 100% comfortable with drove away some anxiety as long as he was around. That was a first.

Around the time of all of that with Lindesy, I met a cute-as-hell little girl (and I do mean little. She's like 5'1") girl named Ashton. Over many years, Ashton and I have wanted each other. She may deny it now but its true. We were great friends and I felt relaxed around her like I did with Matt almost except that she confused me. She would like me one day and dislike me the next.
This went on from 8th grade until I graduated. She's one of my favorite people that I've ever known. Anxiety wasn't the big problem here or anything, but it did play a part in it. Her fickleness was the main problem.

So my senior year was insane. Near the start, a girl that I, for some reason, LIKED named Helana started offering me BJs for things. Anxiety saved me here, though. I'm glad nothing went down with her. Not sure what was wrong with me. lol.

But a short time later, a girl that I'd had a short past with named Torie introduced me to this amazing girl named Christy. I'd been single at this point for over a year 'cause I didn't want to be tied down to anyone. But over the next day or two, Torie told me online that Chirsty liked me and I thought she was lying out her ass. Its interesting to note that in my blog, I'd posted how beautiful she and her eyes were on the day that I met her first. There was no imperfect thing about that girl to me. She was more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen and she was sweet and funny and just amazing. I'd given ANYTHING for her and one day, she wrote me a letter confirming that she really did like me.
I was not fool so I jumped right on it and asked her out and she said yes. We went out for 6 o 7 months but it felt like eternity to me (in a good way, I mean) but we never saw each other apart from at school and it was hard. My depression had all but gone away up to this point and then it came back. So one day, shortly after Valentine's day, she broke up with me because she thought it was because of her that I was depressed. I didn't take her back b/c I told her before she brokeup with me that if she did that then it was over forever (that was so hard for me to say and so untrue.) I didn't go to school the day after because I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my composure and hold to my hardened talk about not caring anymore. I would have taken her back the second I saw a tear come from her eye.
Rumors went around the school that day that I'd killed myself which I wanted to do but couldn't because I loved her too much to not be in a world with her even if she wasn't mine.
But I didn't take her back just yet. First I was involved with Muriel. It was ok at first but then she started pissing me off. I think I felt bitter towards her and blamed her for me losing Christy or disliked her for not meeting my expectations I'd set for every girl for the future that I'd set with Christy.

A few months after Christy broke up with me, we got back together. My Pagan ass went to church for her just so we could hang out and I know just where we were in the building when she asked me out again. My life was whole once more. But a week later, we broke up because so many people told her I was all over her friend Katie one night while we were together and she didn't know who to believe so we ended again. It didn't hurt as bad this time (though it was a horrible pain even then. It was probably a difference like being shot with a 20 guage instead of a 12 guage.) but also because of Katie. I thought Katie was hot and I wanted her physically at least so I thought I'd give it a go with her. I changed my mind soon after. She was such a sweet girl but she wasn't Christy.

Christy all but fixed my depression and anxiety and then she handed it back to me after increasing it ten fold. But unfortunately, my current girlfriend doesn't get that once you REALLY love someone, it doesn't go away no matter what. At best, you may be able to love someone as much or something. You might think it's gone to make life easier but its still there deep inside. I can't lie either. When I see her even now, I have to hang my head as to not see her blue eyes and I get that feeling in my stomach and I have to take a deep breath and face the reality that it's over. I'd be a liar to say that it doesn't hurt to think about it, write about it, or hear about it/her. But it was LOVE, people. And like I hinted before, anyone who thinks you can stop loving someong you REALLY love has never been in love before.
I know the last bit may piss off or hurt my current girlfriend of over 2 years but I see it as reality. The reality is, once you really love someone, that's that. You're stuck. You may move and you may love someone more but you still will love that other person no matter what you say.

So anyway, this is just a BRIEF (but long) version of how many potential relationships have been destroyed in my life because of my depression and anxiety. So as stated in my other post, Fuck you Tom Cruise. I would NEVER choose to feel this way if I had any choice. I've been on medication for my problems for a few years now and I work out every chance I get and I still have the most horrible thoughts and I'm still depressed and my anxiety is still too strong to allow me to go into a fucking fast food store and tell them they forgot to give me my fucking fries.
Don't get me wrong, I feel great PHYSICALLY after working out but that's very temporary and if I saw/heard/read something to trigger a depressive episode, it's come along just as strong.

CHEMICAL IMBALANCES EXIST, TOM CRUISE! I don't care what aliens and L. Ron Hubbard have told you or written you ignorant and cocky fuck. It wouldn't hurt you to seek a little help yourself... At least maybe then you'd leave Brooke Shields and those of us with mental disorders alone. I mean, we don't tell you that pricks don't exist, though you clearly are one.

Ok I just had to get all of this out. Comment, people! I know a few people read my blog sometimes so COMMENT!! lol.

I shall post soon with some other stuff so keep thine eyes peeled.

-=The Prynce

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

"Woman" by John Lennon

Just thought I'd post this song 'cause it's been stuck in my head for a while. It's a really sweet song. Kinda sad, though. I've felt this way about someone before. Guess that's what makes it sad-like.

Anywho, just read it you fudgers.

-=The Prynce

"Woman" by John Lennon

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success
Ooh well well
Doo doo doo doo doo
Ooh well well
Doo doo doo doo doo

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars
Ooh well well
Doo doo doo doo doo
Ooh well well
Doo doo doo doo doo

Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

(I love you yeah yeah
Now and forever
I love you yeah yeah
Now and forever
I love you yeah yeah
Now and forever
I love you)