Sunday, April 22, 2007

The MAN Can't Make Me Title This Post

I love few things more than going into a gas station and buying a soda for $.79 and paying for it with my card, knowing I have a dollar on me.

My friend Carissa and I were recently in the greatest pancake house here in Myrtle Beach (Pan American) at around 3-4 in the morning and just as we sat down, this guy guy that was visibly intoxicated came in and chose the booth adjacent to our's.
He broke the ice by saying something like "I know I'm fucked up, but I'm celebrating..." to which Carissa replied something along the lines of "Oh really?".
He was like "Yep! I'm celebrating that I made it here!".
We both were kind of confused but I think we both just figured that he'd made a long trip and got down here and got drunk-- It happens all the time. However, he then informed us that he was celebrating that he'd made it there from North Myrtle Beach, which if you folks don't know, is less than a 30 minute drive and its a straight shot down Highway 17... It was pretty funny but we figured that he was done as he sat down at his booth and stopped talking.

So Carissa starts asking me my personal beliefs in religion and all and he pops up and he's like "As long as you're not a damned Muslim you're ok with me." which, as racist as it was was still funny.
He continued to pop in and out of our conversations for the rest of our time there. He was actually pretty funny... Though I'm not sure he intended to be. His religious beliefs are apparently built around Homer Simpson saying something along the lines of "Why should I go to church? What if we chose the wrong god and the real one is just getting madder and madder wach time we go to church?".

He also spoke to us about his sex life. He said his wife was a nurse in Conway and was going to be getting up for work in about an hour and that they were scheduled to have sex, which he claims is a must for him and began to explain that he wishes he had the kind of free time that's required for an extramarital affair. Very true, sir.

His drunken banter ran the gammit of topics. One not to be excluded is his thoughts on bike weeks in Myrtle Beach and all of the noise it causes.
A valid point was made though when he stated "If my car was as loud as these fucking bikes, I'd get a ticket..." at which point there was a drunken pause of about five seconds... "...And I got a whole car! Shit, you can fit a dog and four people in there!"

Anywho, the point is the guy was a riot. And he looked a lot like Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa... Or like Ron "Tater Salad" White with a bit of The Sandman.

I spent the majority of my morning just around noon today in Garden City. Its a great city... It's like Myrtle Beach was 15+ years ago.
We originally went to kill time while I waited to hear from my friend Heather about when she'd be in town but it turned into us hanging out down there until noon-ish.
Our intention was to go to Sam's Corner (which is a great resturant that's open 24/7 and serves coffee for only a nickel... There's another in Myrtle Beach) as that's the original down there. But as we were walking across the street, we noted how old-school it all looked including the old-school arcade beside/behind Sam's Corner.
So we went in there and I spent an extra $5 that I couldn't afford on tokens and we played some games and turned in our tickets for two Chinese finger traps and tiny back-scratchers each... 'Twas bitchin'.
So then we got food which was Great. That places it tits... And as we waited, Darrell ordered a Mimosa and I ordered a Tequilla Sunrise. That is until Darrell asked what all was in a Tequilla Sunrise at which point he decided he'd cancell his Mimosa for the Sunrise.
Dunno that it was worth $6 but, hey... What-ever. They specialize in food, not cocktails.

But once we left there we walked angrily by a closed ice cream shop and then to a beach store that was moving like two doors down so they were selling everything at 50% off or better. I got a few bumper stickers and a remote control car for like $6 all together and Darrell got the same and a Bruce Lee wall scroll.
So wrap up, we got some Baskin-Robbins and went the fuck home.

Alright, this post isn't at all interesting or entertaining so I should totally stop... AFTER I give you all the link to a new blog of a friend of mine. Its probably the gayest blog (pound-for-pound) that you'll ever read... I think he's gonna try to just cover headlines and shit and his views on things but... Hey... That's what I said when I came over to BlogSpot from DeadJournal.

Anywho, the blog is Q's Persective and you should all go read it or fuck yourselves!


-=The Prynce

Friday, April 13, 2007

Love is a flower; You've got to let it grow

No clue what'll wind up in this post... I'm just gonna type until I don't have any time to type more, really.

I recently saw Chairmen of the Board for like the third time and it was as great as ever. I even had some hot young thing standing right up on me right before the person I was with wanted to go to the second level. Kinda gravy.

But speaking of concerts... I've probably been to no less then three including that one that I haven't posted about.

A few weeks back, I won two tickets to Lonestar under a Kenny's name on the radio. The seats were OK but I managed to correctly guess the home province of a Canadian radio DJ on location (Darrell and I even got to have a bit of a banter live on the air) which was Manitoba... That managed to win us front row tickets.
I was shocked at how much I dug the show. It was at the Palace theater which I haven't been to in forever and I had a few Heineken and a hot dog loaded with mustard which will make anything pretty good, but really... The show was pretty nice. We even talked a roadie into giving us the guitar picks the guitarist left on stage. HA!

A while before that I got to see Everclear at the House of Blues... Nice. The like... four opening bands were pretty bad, honestly. I felt miserable and almost wanted to go home until Everclear came on and kicked a little ass.
So... Yeah. I actually have some videos up on my YouTube page of bits of the show including Art Alexakis berating a stage-diver. It was great.

I also got a car in the past like... two months. I just kinda didn't think to post it. Whoooops!

The other day, Rob was giving me a ride home from work 'cause the previously mentioned car is in the shop, and as we rounded out near Springmaid Resort, we both kinda saw something in the median of the road. I didn't say anything as I pretty much knew it as a dead bird and we were talking about something.
But as I noticed it, I saw the car drift over and into the median a bit at which point we were just a few feet away from the bird in said median. Rob suddenly exclaimed in a fit of laughter, "IT'S A DEAD BIRD!" followed by a hyper-excited and patented 'Rob Laugh'.
As he was finally finishing up his reaction which of course, caused much laughter to spill from my own face, he said that he could "Totally reenact it" if I wanted to take pictures/video (which pretty much confirms the theory that Rob will do ANYTHING as long as it is in some way recorded visually for posterity).
It was only about a 3 minute ride from there to my house and the entire time I'm questioning the humor in a dead bird until we get to my community and there's a living bird in the middle of the road. He speeds towards it and it flies off as he almost reenacts the whole thing only this time saying "Did you see it poop?!" (which he apparently now claims was a joke).
Just seconds later, we spotted a pug dog walking on the sidewalk near a sharp curve which is not un-common but apparently, the crack in his system made that funny also.
I basically told him to run it over so he could laugh at the dead puppy and he was like "...That's not funny". His logic being that puppies are bigger than birds and 'take longer to go away.' We then had a quick discussion about the souls of birds versus dogs which really reminded me of the "Filthy Animal" bit from Pulp Fiction.

That's pretty much the whole story. If you don't know Rob, you may not find it funny. So... Fuck you. And go away.

The worse thing about being a human is shaving. I fucking hate it. Given, I get off lucky because I'm Scottish so my facial hair isn't very thick or dark so I don't have to shave often.

I also recently decided that Easter was best called "Zombie Jesus Day" only to find that someone else already came up with it! What the fuck, yo?!

I was gonna totally get on the topic of wrestling but I think that'd make this post a wee-bit too long to read so I think this is a nice place to stop, no? I'm not out of time, though. Just running short on it...

Be good, bitches.

-=The Prynce