Thursday, September 29, 2005

Demon Alcohol*

I told someone almost a month or so ago that I'd do a post about how to make wine at home with stuff that you've probably just got laying around the house already. I am lazy, however, and I'm just getting around to it.

Here's what you need. I'll put substitutions in parenthesis.

-Fruit (Fresh or canned. Save the juice if its canned.)
-Bread Yeast (Actual yeast for wine or champagne making may also be used. If you don't have any yeast, though, you can just use white bread)
-Water (Spring water's nice)
-Container (Soda bottles, milk jugs, etc. Nothing metal, though.)
-Balloons (If you're using a container with a large mouth, substitute latex gloves)

First, make sure the container you're gonna use is really good and clean.

Next, mush your fruit up really well. If its canned, it should be easy to do. Leave in the juice, too. The amount of fruit you use is dependent on how big your container is and how strong you want your wine's flavor. I'd use a few ounces for a gallon.
Mix your sugar in with the fruit. This depends on the strength you want your wine to be (alcohol content). I typically just keep adding it until the mixture is a really thick and gritty paste. A cup or so may be enough.

Dump all of that stuff into your container (You may need a funnel if you're using a soda bottle).
Add a little water.

Next, prep your yeast like it says on the packet. Pour only about 3/8-1/2 of the mixture into the container.
If you're using bread, just get about 4-6 slices and crumble them up. Mixing in a little water may make it easier to put in the container.

Fill the rest of the container up with water but leave about 3/4 of an inch or more air at the top.
Stretch the neck of the balloon over the top of the bottle and make sure its secure and tight.
If you're using a latex glove, do the same thing. If it isn't secure and tight, use duct tape.

Now you let it ferment. Put it in a place with a nice temperature (not too warm, not too cool) that doesn't get too much sun light or other light. A closet's nice for that.
As it ferments, the balloon will fill with air. That's what happens when the sugar and year ferment to make the alcohol.

After its been allowed to set for at least a week, its done.

But there's gonna be some junk at the bottom of the container. That's the dead yeast and the other stuff you put in there.

The best way to get the wine out is to siphon it out with a little clear tube (like the kind you use on an air pump in a fish tank). Siphoning allows gravity to do all of the work. Just don't let it suck up and of the stuff from the bottom.

Put it into a clean container (glass is best but plastic's fine if you're not storing it for too long).

Now you're done!

Here's some points, though:
-The strength is determined by how much yeast and sugar there are in the mix.
-The fruit gives the wine flavor and adds in sugar for fermenting.
-Some people just toss in fresh fruit that's uncleaned and a little water and nothing else. That's because the uncleaned skin of the fruit may have natural yeast on it that got there while it was on the tree/vine/plant.
-Using canned fruit (typically peaches) and bread makes what is commonly known as "Jailhouse Hooch".
-You can easily make some hooch with a big kick with this method.

Anyone got any questions or comments? If so, post 'em!

Try it, people. Its shocking how simple and how little work is involved to keep from having to buy wine/hooch.

-=The Prynce
*Disclaimer: I hold no responsibilty for anything that results from anyone trying the things in this post in any way.


The_Sphinx said...

damn if it took you this long to post this by the time you post the hurricane post i will be getting social security,i have watched him make this stuff,it looks sick i don't know ho it taste i never got to taste any don't know if i iwould have the balls too to be honest but hey give the man credit,its free alchol somme of these peeps at the beach would pay for it or do other things for right prynce are you walking or working.

Shannon said...

lol he's working.

Tickles_Tapeworm said...

lol, i think instead of telling people to try it, you should put a disclaimer up. some kid is gonna try this and go blind and shit, and then they're gonna try to sue you. that would fucking suck, but you know there's morons out there who are gonna try it.

carrie said...

um, go blind??? what?

well, I think I'm moron enough to try it, damnit :)
does it taste very good? I normally don't make a habit of drinking things I've left lying around the house for a week so I'm a little scared, but I think I'll give it a go.

The Prynce said...

Darrell -
Fuss at Shannon. I wanted to post the rest of the hurricane stuff last night but she whined at me to stop doing all of the things I had to do. You can also put blame on her for my not fixing those VCDs for youi yet.
It only looks sickr because of all of the stuff that settles. The actual wine looks like wine. lol.

I'm working, baby. Whatcha need? lol

Tickles -
Its actually safe. I'm still gonna put up a disclaimer, though.

Carrie -
It tastes like wine. I've never drank any large amount of it, but I have tasted it. It tastes like wine. lol.
I've never had a chance to drink much of it, though, because my balloons always tear (they're old but they're all that I had) and fruit flies end up in there and die.

Wine is little more than fruit that rotted with sugar and yeast in the mix. And liquor is just basically a strong wine that someone heated up just enough to boil the alcohol (which has a boiling point lower than water) and then cooled the alcohol steam to turn it back to liquid.

When you try it for the first time, don't drink a lot of it. If you don't puke or anything soon after, everything went well, lol.

Ah, and you can just mix yeast/bread and sugar with water to make a more neutral 'liquer' (which most people take to mean a strong wine that you later add fruit or other flavors to by steeping it) that you can add fruit to later. Or you can just make it really strong and mix it with somethin'.

-=The Prynce

Anonymous said...

Darrell- He could have finsh them already.

Everyone- When something goes wrong blame SHANNON. When you cant think of what to do blame SHANNON. When you get hurt blame SHANNON. I allow everyone to blame me for everything little thing that goes wrong in their sad little lives. It's ok blame SHANNON.

Prynce- Kiss my ASS! :-) I'm in a relaxed mood today dont FUCK it up.

:-P Shannon

The Prynce said...

Shannon -
How could I have finished them already when I can only do them on your PC and when I get on there, I don't even have time to check my email and my site and blog stats and do all of the shit you normally want me to do before you're whining for me to get off and go watch TV with you.
Hell, you were sleeping the whole time yesterday but you'd still wake up and tell me to get off and go over there with you and you'd lay your head on me and just go back to sleep.

Stop trying to pull sympathy.

And you fuck up your days, not me. I'm mellow and chilled when I wake up. Unless you change it, I'm that way until I go to bed.

-=The Prynce

Anonymous said...

Shut up to me. I was in a good mood when I wrote the last comment. I ask you when you are getting OFF most of the time so yeah. I'm not trying to get sympathy for your fuckin information i'm playing around with you. I was mostly playing when I wrote the last comment ya know joking around. So if you are going to be an ass and cant joke back then just bugger off when it comes to me online. Thank you.

"Prynce- Kiss my ASS! :-) I'm in a relaxed mood today dont FUCK it up."

Playing around:
"Everyone- When something goes wrong blame SHANNON. When you cant think of what to do blame SHANNON. When you get hurt blame SHANNON. I allow everyone to blame me for everything little thing that goes wrong in their sad little lives. It's ok blame SHANNON."

So chill.


The_Sphinx said...

I personally blame you for everything anyway shannon,i think its awful what you did on 9/11 and in pearl harbor,and man what you did to those poor folks in lousiana god what a bitch lol oh p don't worry its cool its not a huge rush didn't mean to start a fight.

Anonymous said...

You didnt start a fight darrell dont worry. You will get your cds next time we see you. I hope it wont be long before we hang out again I miss you.