Sunday, April 22, 2007

The MAN Can't Make Me Title This Post

I love few things more than going into a gas station and buying a soda for $.79 and paying for it with my card, knowing I have a dollar on me.

My friend Carissa and I were recently in the greatest pancake house here in Myrtle Beach (Pan American) at around 3-4 in the morning and just as we sat down, this guy guy that was visibly intoxicated came in and chose the booth adjacent to our's.
He broke the ice by saying something like "I know I'm fucked up, but I'm celebrating..." to which Carissa replied something along the lines of "Oh really?".
He was like "Yep! I'm celebrating that I made it here!".
We both were kind of confused but I think we both just figured that he'd made a long trip and got down here and got drunk-- It happens all the time. However, he then informed us that he was celebrating that he'd made it there from North Myrtle Beach, which if you folks don't know, is less than a 30 minute drive and its a straight shot down Highway 17... It was pretty funny but we figured that he was done as he sat down at his booth and stopped talking.

So Carissa starts asking me my personal beliefs in religion and all and he pops up and he's like "As long as you're not a damned Muslim you're ok with me." which, as racist as it was was still funny.
He continued to pop in and out of our conversations for the rest of our time there. He was actually pretty funny... Though I'm not sure he intended to be. His religious beliefs are apparently built around Homer Simpson saying something along the lines of "Why should I go to church? What if we chose the wrong god and the real one is just getting madder and madder wach time we go to church?".

He also spoke to us about his sex life. He said his wife was a nurse in Conway and was going to be getting up for work in about an hour and that they were scheduled to have sex, which he claims is a must for him and began to explain that he wishes he had the kind of free time that's required for an extramarital affair. Very true, sir.

His drunken banter ran the gammit of topics. One not to be excluded is his thoughts on bike weeks in Myrtle Beach and all of the noise it causes.
A valid point was made though when he stated "If my car was as loud as these fucking bikes, I'd get a ticket..." at which point there was a drunken pause of about five seconds... "...And I got a whole car! Shit, you can fit a dog and four people in there!"

Anywho, the point is the guy was a riot. And he looked a lot like Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa... Or like Ron "Tater Salad" White with a bit of The Sandman.

I spent the majority of my morning just around noon today in Garden City. Its a great city... It's like Myrtle Beach was 15+ years ago.
We originally went to kill time while I waited to hear from my friend Heather about when she'd be in town but it turned into us hanging out down there until noon-ish.
Our intention was to go to Sam's Corner (which is a great resturant that's open 24/7 and serves coffee for only a nickel... There's another in Myrtle Beach) as that's the original down there. But as we were walking across the street, we noted how old-school it all looked including the old-school arcade beside/behind Sam's Corner.
So we went in there and I spent an extra $5 that I couldn't afford on tokens and we played some games and turned in our tickets for two Chinese finger traps and tiny back-scratchers each... 'Twas bitchin'.
So then we got food which was Great. That places it tits... And as we waited, Darrell ordered a Mimosa and I ordered a Tequilla Sunrise. That is until Darrell asked what all was in a Tequilla Sunrise at which point he decided he'd cancell his Mimosa for the Sunrise.
Dunno that it was worth $6 but, hey... What-ever. They specialize in food, not cocktails.

But once we left there we walked angrily by a closed ice cream shop and then to a beach store that was moving like two doors down so they were selling everything at 50% off or better. I got a few bumper stickers and a remote control car for like $6 all together and Darrell got the same and a Bruce Lee wall scroll.
So wrap up, we got some Baskin-Robbins and went the fuck home.

Alright, this post isn't at all interesting or entertaining so I should totally stop... AFTER I give you all the link to a new blog of a friend of mine. Its probably the gayest blog (pound-for-pound) that you'll ever read... I think he's gonna try to just cover headlines and shit and his views on things but... Hey... That's what I said when I came over to BlogSpot from DeadJournal.

Anywho, the blog is Q's Persective and you should all go read it or fuck yourselves!


-=The Prynce


Marcie said...

Reminds me of the nights I played Designated Driver for drunk kids.
Waffle house @ 3 is a funny place to be too.

jessi said...

Lol there's something about a pancake house that draws in bugs to a light really.......and its the most awesome thing ever to be included in a drunks world and their ideals. The thing about "and its a whole can put dogs and people in it" lol classic awesomeness....and I'm sure carissa was creaming bc you said her name in this

Anonymous said...

oh absolutely...jessi was correct. good thing i brought a change of panties with me. was a fun night. i'm kinda wanting to go back just to run into him again. maybe i'll sign up for his guitar geez i could only imagine how entertaining THAT would be.